I have over exerted myself trying to find appropriate mental health treatment. I am doing everything I possibly can trying to prove to my treatment team that I’m putting forth effort. But this effort has come at a price. Most of my therapy sessions have been about coping with the stress of my insurance. The stress itself is causing me extreme anxiety and depression.
It makes no sense to me why our government won’t help people get the treatment they need. If I got the full treatment I require, I can become an active citizen. I could go back to school, hold down a job, pay taxes… You would think that the government would be in support of getting people off of assistant programs…
Well, after all this effort, I told my T and Pdoc that I would like them to stop pressuring me about dealing with the insurance. I explained to them that I have tried every solution I can think of. Surprisingly, they both told me that I’m putting the pressure on myself?!?! They explained that they think it is wonderful all the work and effort I have done, but they never expected me to go to the lengths that I have. They told me I need to hand over some of the burden to them because they are my team: they are there to help and support me in anyway they can.
They are right… They never asked me to do all of this. They didn’t even expect it from me. I am so used to having to fight for everything myself, that I took on the burden alone. And I have paid a huge price: my progress with my mental health.
I am now turning over the burden to my T and Pdoc. I have to trust that they will continue the fight for me. I have to trust that they will be there to support and encourage me through this trying time, but that they will also continue the search of additional treatment. I’ve had their support the entire time and never recognized it. My goal now is to focus on my needs and utilize the resource I already have.